4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
