At least make sure they are 18
Why
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Randomize
