I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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