So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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