You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
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He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
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bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
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