I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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