I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
