pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize