What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
