Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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