My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
