Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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