i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
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