He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
