just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
