And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Randomize
