And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
