I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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