I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
