You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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