Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
i believe in u and ur pee
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