That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
