I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
