Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
