there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
