I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
