whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize
