I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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