please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Moan for me like Helen Keller
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
