I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I don't deserve a penis
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize
