are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
