margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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