thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
