Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
