I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
