And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
