I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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