Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
