You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
found the other keg... it's in the tree
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
