I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We had to coat check the pizza.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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