Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
