If i could tip my vagina, i would.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
