Well apparently he's into motor boating.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
