Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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