Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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