is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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