just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
