I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I just gargled with NyQuil
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
