my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Randomize
