well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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