please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
