we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
