Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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