your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
