I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
its liver damage thursday
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
