My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
