In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
