whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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