just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize
