His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
