he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
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Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
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Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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