I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
My life is pants optional.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
