Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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