Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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