So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
