My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
