DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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