I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
